


Patriot

by Slaskia



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 06:17:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12475312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slaskia/pseuds/Slaskia
Summary: Set during the ep Scattered.  Jetfire is concerned about Starscream's mental state after both the destruction of the Omega Lock and the Autobot base.  When Agent Fowler comes up with an idea to lighten the mood, Jetfire jumps right in to help his old friend.





	Patriot

**Author's Note:**

> Another idea I came up with while at work. This will likely eventually be part of a larger series, though for this stand-alone version some details were left out.

_Military base_  

Jetfire sighed as he did a systems check for what felt like the hundredth time.  He knew what the results would be, but it would be better to read them again than to mull on what happened recently.  However, the seeker sitting in alt form beside him was no doubt mulling on that very thing. 

He knew Starscream had taken the loss of the Omega lock hard:  that much was obvious the way he cried, screamed and ranted when he found out.  He was quick to pass blame as well, but in truth, they were all to blame.  They had left their human companions in the dark on what was going on and Megatron used them to force Optimus to hand over the Omega keys. 

Yes, they were all to blame, but Jetfire knew Starscream was blaming himself.  He was a brilliant strategist and competent fighter both in the air and on the ground.  And yet he hadn’t taken into consideration the folly of not warning the kids on what was going on. Now part of Earth had been cyberformed into New Kaon, their base had been destroyed and the Autobots were scattered to the wind, their fates unknown.

 It was why he and Starscream were hiding in this military hanger, which Agent Fowler had graciously offered.  However, the forced radio silence was maddening.  He needed a distraction…frag…they _both_ needed a distraction. 

He felt a light knock on his fuselage. “Uh…Jetfire?” It was Agent Fowler.  “Are you awake?” 

“I am,” the A-10 replied.  “Is something wrong?” 

“No, but I would like to speak to you privately a moment,” the human said. 

“Very well.”  Jetfire changed to his bot form.  “Scream, I’m going to stretch my legs a bit.”  He got no response, not even a ‘it’s _Star_ scream’.  The seeker was either in recharge or too deep in his brooding to notice. 

It felt good to be out in open air again.  A cool night breeze kissed his frame, making him flutter his wings a bit.  He followed Agent Fowler until they were far enough so the silver seeker couldn’t hear them even if he was aware of his surroundings.  “How is he?” the human asked. 

“Not well,” Jetfire replied with a sigh.  “Other than a brief conversation with Mrs. Darby, he hasn’t spoken since we got here.” 

“Worried about the others?” 

“More like he’s lamenting the likely permanent loss of our homeworld…” Jetfire felt the familiar pain of that loss more keenly than ever.  “As I believe we all are, in our own ways.” 

Agent Fowler rubbed his chin in thought.  “I have an idea, more of a practical joke, but I’m not sure it would be a good one with how… _unpredictable_ his temper can be.” 

“Let me hear it.”  After Agent Fowler explained, he found himself grinning.  “One problem with that: even in his brooding state, I seriously doubt he will let you mess with his chassis.  Vosian seekers can be particularly _fussy_ about their appearance.  Your best chance is to catch him while in recharge.” 

“And that’s the problem,” Fowler said.  “I can’t tell when you bots are asleep…especially in your vehicle mode.” 

“And we tend not to sleep in vehicle mode,” Jetfire stated.  He hummed as he thought a moment, then his grin returned.  “But I know how to _get_ him into recharge.  Give him a bath.”  From Fowler’s perplexed expression he explained.  “Vosian trait…they _love_ to be pampered…and he is no exception.”  He jerked a thumb in the direction of the hanger said seeker was still in.  “In fact, he tends to fall into recharge in the middle of it.”  He then leaned in closer.  “His engine hums a bit when he recharges in alt mode.” 

“So, he’s a snorer…got it,” Fowler’s grin matched his own. 

They ironed out a few more details before Jetfire returned to the hanger and changed back into his alt form.  Starscream made no indication he had noticed he had left.  _This is going to be good!_ Jetfire thought, having to force himself to not giggle aloud.  He also made a note to himself to be prepared to restrain Starscream if this goes sour. 

\--

 _Next morning…_  

Why didn’t he listen to him?  Why?  Why didn’t he think of the risk sooner?  If he had, this could have been prevented!  Blast that medic and his pride!  _Cybertron would be restored right now…if it wasn’t for him…for me…._  

Those thoughts and more kept cycling in an out of his processor.  It was all he could think about.  How the restoration of Cybertron was so close…only to be snatched away due to a forgotten detail.  The kids…why didn’t he remember the kids?  They shouldn’t have been left in the dark on this.  If they had known, they wouldn’t have called the base and ask what was going on.  Then Soundwave wouldn’t have known they were vulnerable…and able…to be used against them in what was supposed to be their hour of triumph.  Instead, it was their darkest hour. 

He did think of them, albeit a bit late, and tried to convince Ratchet to go pick them up from school.  But that fragging medic didn’t want to leave!  Most likely because he didn’t trust the ex-Con to be alone in the base.  The stubborn fragger.  He had told him that and many other things after things started going to the Pit. 

 _“This would not have happened!”_ he recalled screaming.  _“If you had LISTENED TO ME!  Now Cybertron is lost!  All because of your damn pride and unwillingness to TRUST ME!”_  

Optimus had told him they were all the blame for not thinking of the kids.  To a point he was right, but Starscream still felt more responsible…that Ratchet was more responsible for what happened.  He should have thought of it…he should have…. 

Something touched his hull, snapping his awareness to his immediate surroundings.  There were a number of humans in the hanger, surround both him and Jetfire.  _Odd…_ he thought.  _I thought Fowler had restricted access to this hanger._

Feeling a bit wary, he kept an eye on them, quickly noting they were carrying cleaning supplies.  _Well, I guess even this hanger needs cleaning…_.  He figured it was safe to ignore them, until he got hit with a blast of cold water. He yelped in shock, making several of the humans jump, though there was no reaction beyond that.  It was likely these humans were ‘in the know’.  He decided to play it safe and muted his vocalizer anyway.  Robots in disguise and all…. 

Still, who did they think they were washing him as if he was one of their own jets?  _Then again…it ‘has’ been a while since I had this kind of treatment,_ he thought, letting himself relax. 

He was learning a new appreciation for humans from this.  Their small hands were able to reach the nooks and crannies of his chassis Cybertronian hands just were too big to reach.  Their soft touches were quickly lulling him to recharge.  He actually tried to fight it, but it was a losing battle.  Soon enough, his engine was humming softly as he recharged. 

\-- 

“He’s humming,” one of the soldiers said quietly. “Let’s finish this stage up quick and break out the paint!” 

Close by, Jetfire was starting to snicker so hard that he had to mute his vocalizer so he didn’t wake the seeker.  A good thing, as when he saw the paint, he would have lost all control.  _So they did have those colors!_  he thought, his frame starting to shake form his silent laughing. 

“Careful!” one of the soldiers washing him whispered.  “You nearly shook me off.”  Jetfire moved his ailerons up and down once in apology. 

He watched as the soldiers finally started phase two.  Jetfire had made ‘suggestions’ on what colors to use and where to put them and it looked like they were following his instructions to a tee.  Fowler had wanted to use pink…but not only was that not a ‘standard’ military color they had quick access to, but Jetfire wanted to make sure no humans got eviscerated from this. 

And Starscream was still dead to the world as his new paint job took shape…. 

\-- 

 _A few hours later…_  

Starscream came out of recharge feeling rather refreshed:  that bath had done him wonders for his mental state.  However, something felt…off.  It was like he was covered in something and it was muting his sensors somewhat.  A tarp?  No, he could feel it on his alt forms underbelly as well.  Curious and concerned that perhaps the humans used a solvent that didn’t agree with his body, he transformed. 

His senses were clearer now, but there was still that feeling something was ‘on’ him.  He started to look at himself. 

Then screamed. 

\-- 

Jetfire was jolted awake from his own recharge when the seeker screamed.  It took him a moment to remember what had happened…what they had planned.  When he did he immediately started laughing. 

“WHAT THE FRAG HAPPENED TO ME!?”  Starscream was screeching, likely alerting the whole base in the process.  His chassis had been repainted red, white and blue, nearly perfectly matching the color scheme of format he used a long time ago. 

“Blast from the past, Screamer!” Jetfire said as he transformed, a hand already on his abdomen. 

“I must say,” Fowler said as he entered the hanger.  “I never took you as the patriotic type, Starscream.  You really rock in Old Glories colors!”  He gave him a thumbs up, then used his cell phone to snap a picture. 

“This is not funny!” Starscream protested, trying to scrap the paint off.  “These were the colors I used when I was young…stupid…and didn’t have the handsome voice I have now…”  He tone was lower, almost seductive, when he said the last part. 

“Sorry, Starscream, that’s military grade paint.  It’s made to last years.”  Fowler was snickering.  Jetfire was laughing so hard now that he was on the floor.  

“We’ll see about that!”  Starscream growled as he kept trying anyway.  “I will _not_ return to the other’s looking like this!” 

“Sorry to break it to you, but I just got word from the others,” Fowler said, turning serious.  “They are regrouping at the wreck of the _Harbinger_.  They wanted me to pass the word on to you two.” 

Jetfire didn’t think he could laugh any harder due to the look on Starscream’s face at that moment.  “Well, we better get going, Screamer,” he said when he finally caught his breath. 

“Noooo….I can’t return to her looking like this!” Starscream pleaded, his hands on his head in panic. 

“Oh, come on, Starscream…I’m sure Arcee will _love_ the new patriotic you!”  Jetfire switched to his alt mode and took off. 

“I hate you…I hate all of you….” He heard Starscream grumble as the seeker reluctantly transformed and followed. 

 _At least he’s not brooding and depressed anymore,_ Jetfire thought with a snicker.  _Mission accomplished._

**Author's Note:**

> Way to dis your G1 counterpart's color scheme and voice Screamer XD (well, technically any multiverse Starscream with those traits...).


End file.
